My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize