The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
