I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
