saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
