No subtext here. People are naked.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
