The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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