i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
