Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
