arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
