i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
