It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
