i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
