even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
