Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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