Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
