I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
