That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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