he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
