i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
