what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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