Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
