I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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