are you so shy because you have an std?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This toilet bowl is my home.
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