i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
