I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
