Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
