PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
