kristin has been a bad kristin
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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