I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
