as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
