I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
