How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
