some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
