SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
