He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
