At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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