I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
