you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just gargled with NyQuil
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
