I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
