do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
