This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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