You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
