I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
