We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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