I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
