He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
