I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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