i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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