the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
