I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
