she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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