You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
