Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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