Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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