get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I touched a dick in church today
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
