Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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