if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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